This is a question we sometimes hear from prospective students going through the challenges of a relationship ending. They want to know if it might be too early in the process to begin healing and participate in the 10 week Rebuilding Seminar.

Part of the concern is that there is a degree of shame and embarrassment about being so emotional, which is common in the early stages of ending a relationship.

Unfortunately, most people stop their process before it even starts. It isn’t easy to allow ourselves to feel our emotions, so most people try to numb them away. Instead of reaching out for support, they prolong their suffering and remain locked in a “holding  pattern.”  As a result, they get stuck in anger, resentment, grief, loneliness, depression and a perpetual state of being the victim.

If we are physically injured, we would immediately seek medical care. Going through the loss of a relationship is arguably more profound and painful than most physical injuries. It requires a lot of support, adjustment and information. We created an identity as being married or having a partner.  So we need to go through a prolonged period to “re-identify” ourselves.

We have had class members that began the Seminar within days of their relationship ending or breakup. By the end of the 10 weeks, with the support of the facilitators, volunteers and class members, those participants did a lot of healing, regained their sense of humor and optimism, and developed a new sense of stability.

When there is a significant wound, physical or emotional, the time to begin the healing process is now. Your thoughts and experience(s) are welcome!