Superstar

The Ultimate Valentine

“You can search the whole world, and you will never find anyone more deserving of love than you”

This quote stands in contrast to all of the daily messages we bombarded with. Buy this, wear that, read this, if you want to be popular …… if you want approval follow these rules etc.

Our culture is conditional- unless you do this, don’t do that- you will be acceptable. The list of conditions is endless. Most of us literally spend our entire lives try in to gain approval or avoid disapproval.

As a result we have fear, anxiety depression, confusion, and lots of anger. We have low self esteem, and are filled with negative thoughts and feelings. We betray ourselves and abandon ourselves and have no idea who we really are. We have “masks” for every situation. When we identify with our masks, as we most often do, we have no way “home” to our real or true selves.

There is another way.

It requires daily practice. It requires a consciousness and awareness that we are not our masks. To be aware of the effect of constantly betraying ourselves to satisfy someone else or the pervasive culture.

Feeling the effect all of the demands we have to been trying to meet.

Beginning each day with a new question:

“How will I love myself today?” or “what are the most loving things I can do for myself today?”

We have heard from most of the world religions and spiritual traditions that we need to love ourselves. The common denominator among all these beliefs is the need to be a loving presence.

This is only way to create self esteem. WE do it by bringing a sense of compassion, self empathy, curiosity and appreciation to our self.

It is a fact that at one time or another we experienced disapproval, rejection, shaming, been made to feel guilty and inadequate.

Today can be the beginning defining yourself accurately: you are enough, you are more than OK, and who you truly are is fine. Coming to accept this truth will take practice and we often encounter feeling of grief and sadness that result from not being in reality, and not being true to ourselves.

The way of the past – as a perpetual victim (to circumstances, to the opinions of others, rejection, being shamed, judged and constantly diminished and) has to yield to a new powerful way of living where you are the creator of your life, the author and authority of your life.

It is entirely up to you to be your own Valentine. To gift yourself- love, acceptance, and compassion.

To be our own best friend, to “source “from our true selves our authentic selves instead of being desperate to grab for what we can never get from anyone else.

We all know that the people that do accept themselves, that are authentic, that truly can be intimate- are enormously attractive (no matter what they look like or how they dress).

Intimacy – a trite way of expressing it would be to say  “In to me you see”.

When we no longer have to hide. When we really understand that perfection in human beings is not real, not attainable , and completely unnecessary.

Create the gift of true friendship with yourself and then expand your circle with people who are willing to accept themselves and you –just the way you are.

If you practice gratitude for the gifts you have, the gift you are and for the opportunity to share that with the world –every day- there will be less temptation to go back to the empty old habit of trying to please everyone else.

Gift yourself a Happy Valentine’s day.