Category Archives: Children and the Impact of Conflict

What About the Children?

Children are profoundly affected when their parents are in conflict. They are dependent on parents for well being and survival and are helpless to resolve any of the issues. More than that, they often feel in some way responsible for the situation. It is true that children are resilient, and we often hear, “Don’t worry about the kids; they’ll bounce back.”

When parents get separated or divorced, most of the child’s world is turned upside down. They have to contend with going between the two parents’ homes. They often have to change schools. In one home they have their pet. One parent is more permissive or tolerant. Often children get emotionally neglected or pushed aside as a result of the parents’ emotional turmoil.

Both parents are typically unstable for a period of time as they adjust to their new life. Often parents underestimate how much time healing takes and begin dating very soon after the divorce. And the children are quickly introduced to their new “friend.” More complicated is when the parents have “sleepovers”- while the children are in the home.

Very frequently one or both of the parents will criticize or judge the other to the children. To belittle, criticize, gossip about, or malign your “ex” is extremely upsetting for the children. Unfortunately, some parents persist in making comments that are destructive to the parent/child relationship. Not only does it erode a sense of trust and security that children need, it also leads to anxiety, depression, and often medical problems develop.

If even one parent is able to regain their emotional footing, some essential stability can be set in place for the children. We teach the Starting Over Again Seminar to help adults deal with a relationship ending in order to help with the healing process which is necessary for moving on with their lives.

Although not everyone has children, we are all affected when the children suffer.

The Starting Over Again Rebuilding Seminar is designed to help all adults who are dealing with the end of their relationship “to get back on their feet” as quickly as possible. Over the last 30 years, tens of thousands of people have participated in the classes and have gained the insights, awareness and support needed to be able to move ahead in ways that just going to therapy could not. Unfortunately most people cannot afford therapy, which is what’s recommended for help with some of the deeper issues to further help with moving forward.  Our seminar is affordable and arguably the best way to move forward past denial and avoid getting stuck in the victim stage.

There is hope. There is support. And there is a way through the pain! Join us!